Nic Cage as Leigh Anne Tuohy

Nic Cage as Bernie Lomax

Submitted by Ethan Weinstock, who is oddly mistaken for both Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman on a daily basis.

Nic Cage as Carrie Bradshaw

Submitted by Ethan "Mr. Big" Weinstock.

Nic Cage as Rocky Balboa

Matt Monaco is gonna eat lightnin' and crap thunder!

Nic Cage as George Bailey

Some of you may have spent the holiday weekend wondering about the last post. "Who is Matt Monaco?" you said to yourself. Well, imaginary friend, this is Matt Monaco's work. Let it speak for itself.

Nic Cage as Matt Monaco

Nic Cage as Junior

Nic Cage as Mrs. Weiss

Submitted by Ethan Weinstock, based on the novel "Push" by Sapphire.

Nic Cage as Harvey Milk

His name is Patrick Sarni, and he's here to submit you.

Nic Cage as Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jr.

Fortune and Sarni, kid. Fortune and Sarni.

Nic Cage as Wolf Blitzer

Submitted by Patrick Sarni, who would've also lost to Andy Richter on Jeopardy!

Nic Cage as Gomez Addams

Dance how he wanna dance, kick and he slap a friend, the Patrick Sarr-o-ni.

Nic Cage as James Bond

Submitted by Sarni, Patrick Sarni.

Nic Cage as Maximillian Cohen

Nic Cage as Johnny Gray

Nic Cage as Mahogany

Nic Cage as Batman

Nic Cage as Maverick

Submitted by Patrick Sarni, whose flight handle is "Patches".

Nic Cage as Ethan Hunt

Submitted by Patrick Sarni, who thought Kanye's M:I3 theme was wack.

Nic Cage as Jerry Maguire

Submitted by Patrick Sarni, whose head weighs 9 pounds.

Nic Cage as Esther

Nic Cage as Nice Guy Eddie

Nic Cage as El Mariachi

Nic Cage as Death

Nic Cage as Zed

Nic Cage as Borat

I give to Dave Bisson a jar of gypsy tears, and he submit me this.

Nic Cage as Vinny Gambini

Submitted by Matt Monaco, who wore out his VHS of "My Cousin Vinny" in his yute.

Nic Cage as Edward Cullen

Nic Cage as Jake Sully's Avatar

Submitted by guest artist Patrick Sarni, who just blue himself.

Nic Cage as Vigo the Carpathian

On a mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, Patrick Sarni sat on a throne of blood! What was will be! What is will be no more! Now is the season of evil!

Nic Cage as Jay

Nic Cage as Marv Merchants

Submitted by guest artist Patrick Sarni, who knew that Marv had a last name.

Nic Cage as Griff Tannen

Submitted by guest artist Patrick Sarni, who had a busy weekend.

Nic Cage as Tatsu

Submitted by guest artist and Oreo fan Patrick Sarni.

Nic Cage as Spock

Submitted by guest artist and category 5 math wizard Matt Monaco.

Nic Cage as Dorothy Vallens

Submitted by guest artist and frequent patron of the Slow Club, Ethan Weinstock.

Nic Cage as Chucky

Nic Cage as Timothy Bryce

Nic Cage as Dusty Bottoms

Nic Cage as Samwise Gamgee

Nic Cage as Coach Gordon Bombay

Nic Cage as Theodore Donald "Donny" Kerabatsos

Nic Cage as Johnny Utah

Nic Cage as "Shoeless" Joe Jackson

Nic Cage as Wolverine

Nic Cage as Kris Kringle aka Santa Claus (?!)

Nic Cage as Thomas Anderson aka Neo aka The One

Nic Cage as Jason Voorhees

Nic Cage as Daniel-San

Nic Cage as Henry Spencer